Being The Role Model :

'Do what I say not what I do' is a common phrase many parents follow. That is a mistake and it creates confusion amongst children. A child seldom does what the parents preach, since they will always do what they practice. children model the behaviours the parents have presented to them time and again. therefore it is important that parents set positive examples that the children can be like.

Disciplining :

One of the most important parenting skills is discipline. It is imperative that our children know who is in charge. Children need firm boundaries that come from clear and consistent parental discipline. It may be redirection, time-ours, loss of privileges, grounding or extra chores, but it is crucial that we embrace our role to train our children to become moral, respectable adults.

Being consistent :

A reward system can be used to encourage, enhance and shape positive behaviours. One the other hand adding a negative consequence to discourage and decrease negative consequence to discourage and decrease negative behaviour can work effectively. Children soon realize that the misdemeanors that are causing these consequences are to be avoided. But no matter what, everything will crumble into failure if it is not done in a consistent manner. Consistency is the main secret of disciplining a child. Consistency is the key to becoming successful parents, showing the children that their parents are indeed reliable is important.

 

Praising : Many experts believe that food provides physical nourishment while praising provides emotional nourishment for any child. Praising a child is essential as it helps to keep focus one the positive of any situation and provides a realistic appraisal of the child’s performance.

Education :

From the moment a child is born, he starts to learn from his parents. As parents, it is our duty to teach them moral and ethical values in addition to formal education. A child’s educational and behavioural success does not always depend up on the school he attends but on how involved the parents are in educating him.

Bd Calm :

It is important to maintain your cool before applying any positive or negative consequences to a child’s behaviour. There are times when children make the parents so furious that the parents get caught up in the moment and end up taking some rash decisions or actions. Parents need to practice being calm in the midst of turmoil and focus on the behaviour of the child rather than the reason for the misbehaviour. If the parents does happen to lose temper and end up saying or doing something regretful, it is always better to go back and say sorry

Confess Mistakes :

As mentioned above saying sorry or letting the child know you regret your action helps the child develop a positive behaviour. By apologizing parents reach their children about respect, consideration and humility.

Showing Love and care :

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Children need to know they are valued. When a child realistic that she makes a huge difference in her parents live, and they will not be able to get along without her, she understands how valuable she is as an individual. A valued child learns respect, confidence, and unselfishness and later on in life contributes to the family’s well-being.

There is no doubt that effective parenting is crucial for a family’s success. Successful parents shape the characteristics of the coming generation and the way the next generation will behave. History has taught us that when parents know and apply healthy methods to Bering up a child they get rewarding result. Successful parenting is not an accident but, requires a proper parenting plan and dedication to the child. No doubt effecting parenting is so crucial and continues to be the utmost important in one’s today, tomorrow and always!

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Mind / Body Connection : Continue.......:

Given below is and overview of a study conducted by John Hopkins University on some common mood disorder related conditions :

 

Heart Diseases :

People who suffer from depression after experiencing an attack, risk a second one. On the other hand people who generally stay depressed increase the risk of suffering from a heart attack or even dying from a heart disease.

Headache :

Tension headaches which become chronic occur frequently on people with anxiety and depression. They are usually caused by the contractiion of the muscles in the scalp and neck a common physical reaction when one is under emotional stress.

Constipation or Diarrhoea :

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Anxiety is often linked with IBS(Irritable Bowel Syndrome) which mainfests itself as diarrhoea or constipation. According to many experts 60% of those have generalised anxiety may make you more aware of spasms in your colon or that anxiety affects the immune system and may trigger symptoms of IBS.

Vomiting and Nausea :

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Nausea and vomiting are also considered as symptoms of mood disorder. According to a study, among the people who had major complaints of nausea, 41 percent were diagnosed with anxiety disorder and 24 percent of them with depression.

Osteoporosis :

www.infolongtermcare.org

One theory is that people with major depression have lower bone mineral density, a measure of the strengh of your bones, than those with no mood disorders. It is also said that is that depression may cause increased levels of a neurotransmitter that interferes with bone building. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are associated with increased fracture risk, but there’s growing evidence that depression itself may put bones at risk.

High blood pressure :

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There is evidence that chronic anxiety may lead to high blood pressure. Anxiety is likely to produce temporary spikes in blood pressure rather than presistent hypertension. Frequent spikes can damage your bolld vessels, heart and kidneys and increase your risk of a stroke.

We usually taker our mental health for granted. But the fact is that it requires effort to build and maintain both mental and physical health, because both the mind and the body are closely linked. The ore time and energy we can invest in our mental and emotional health, the stronger we will be and the better prepared to deal with difficult and challenging situations. this means a good mental health promotes a health body, which again can be done by leading a healthy and positive lifestyle!

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Mind / Body Connection :

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Most people will agree that anxiety, depression, stress and such mental disorders may affect our physical health. In addition, research suggests that mental health conditions may negatively affect ones physical health as well.

 Theses days we are so busy with work, household chores, the kids and a thousand problems that come along with the daily routine that we forget to think about our health. Even if we do manage to find a few minutes to ponder on our physical health, mental health care never crosses our mind. But mental health is just as important: in fact our mental well-being and our physical health are strongly connected. After all we need to be healthy both physically, mentally and emotionally if we need to finish the complicated proposal at work, send children to the best schools, save for the future, buy a house and successfully complete the hundredth task that has been occupying our minds. Everybody wants to enjoy life and live to a ripe old age, right ?

According to the Canadian Mental Health Association (2003), mental health conditions may negatively affect your physical health. For example, anxiety and stress are often associated with severe headaches, stomach ulcers, and hypertension. Many believe that depression and anxiety are condition of the mind influencing one’s mood and outlook on life. But that is party true, The fact is for many people the more common manifestations of depression and anxiety are physical and not mental, which can again lead to long term consequences.

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Single Woman About Town. Beware :

Sometime, I feel like I have a tattoo stamped on my forehead heralding my single status and begging for pity from passer-by especially from female ones. It is a touth sale convincing people that being single doesn't necessarily mean I'll end up living alone with dezens of cats.

As soon as people hear the words single and late twenties used in the same sentence, they instinctively offer consolation and half-hearted optimism about a future possible romantic connection. No matter, how much I may protest and assure them that I relish being single, the bottom line, according to the society at large, is that single-ites should be pitied. 

But truth be known, being single at this particular age and period works wonders. 

Personally, I don't think I'm missing out by not being romantically involved. I have a great career, fantastic friends and a strong support system, and if I may add a wonderful future ahead of me. Sure, a lot of my single friends are swiftly getting hitched and starting families, but their life choices do not reflect nor affect mine. 

However, as much as I may shout those words at the top of my lungs, the people around me assume that I must be putting on a brave front. Underneath it all, they assume, I must be an insecure woman hell-bent on getting hitched.

The pressure to conform to the standard hetero normative marriage model is overwhelming, to say the least. There is an unspoken stigma associated in seeing a young single woman enjoying her life. I have had countless relatives, well-wishers, and even acquaintances lament at my single status. The message is quite clear-I am supposed to feel inadequate because I am single. Offtentimes the message is conveyed through countless blind dates, unsolicited advice to change this or alter that to make myself that more appealing to the opposite sex, or blatant arguments that my romantic expectations are fantastical. Suffice to say, their interpretation of my perpetual single-ness stems from my refusal to conform to the conventional wishdom of matrimony at a young age. 

The subtle but potent discrimination from elder females is palpable. But now, even my peers seem to have in herited the bias. Many times, my single friends and I have detected the flicker of pity splashed across the faces of young married women when they inquire about our status. If that isn't bad enough, we, single women, must also be kept at a safe distance from the married men, lest we pry them away from their partners. 

It's astounding to grasp the numerous assumptions that are towed upon us solely on our single status. We are at once sized up, singled out, and ostracized for daring to be single in this society. The thought of us choosing to be single is unacceptable. The perennial belief is that we are constantly on the prowl for the next best male partner.

Yep, the pressure to throw away my single-ness is a constant uphill battle. There are bad days when I want to cave in and marry the next Tom. Dick or Harry who happens to fancy me: and then there are the good days when I discover that I am sheltered from the complications and distractions that a romantic entanglement might bring. I've learned a while ago that adhering to societal rules won't guarantee happiness. So, I take immense pride in knowing that I am because that is what I choose right now.

Tisa Mubaddes

is a member of 

Writer's Block

and is currently

working on a novel.

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Sensibly Single :

Till date being single has worked for me perfectly. I know that I am single because I have reason to be. To me it is never an issue, as I do believe in fact and reality. Single or not, my happiness is the foremost important thing in my life. In a way, I am never single..... I always have me with me. I also have my work, my passion and my art. In a country, We have never had the privilege of knowing what it is to be just ‘me’. We are different countries girls have two is actually the father’s den and the other with our husbands. But I need to see and be in my life, my own life. in fact it is applicable for men, too. I need to feel and know that it is actually my life, after all. Being single is still a new concept in our society and it is simultaneously very fashionable and also not yet socially ‘acceptable’. But I believe it is a necessary step in one’s life, to come out of the box, out of the convenient way of life, and to deal with it practically. This gives me the strength to be an individual and to support myself Firstly, I have to be strong enough to support myself, and only then can I support the rest. In order to do that I need to know how to face reality without any back-up, this will eventually help me raise my own family in any given situation.

My father died when I was a teenager and my mom was in her early thirties. His sudden death forced us into a reality with us three children and a single (widowed) mother. She was a working woman and an exceptionally courageous one at that, and we all managed to pull it. off together as a family. I watched her struggle, constantly learning, while leading her life without any support. It was a huge pressure for her to deal with it all on her own. Over time I gave a lot of thought to the situation and realized that if she had her own life at some point she would have had the opportunity to prepare and strengthen herself for a situation like the one she was faced with when my father died. It is the same with divorced/separated women. they know how to handle being alone if they learned how to be single firstly. Of course there are many hurdles to face as a single woman, but it is still our life and we have to make the best use of it no matter what. It should be a choice, a choice of wanting to live life to its fullest. If being ‘single’ makes one feel happy, so be it! I always looked for.

Challenges and being single has given me the opportunity to see it all fun, pain, gain, all of it. Single life teaches me to be prepared, to be aware and to be accountable of my own judgment and my own decisions. I know exactly what I want from my life. Being single brings me closer to my life and my surroundings. Though it is not all fun, it is surely worth living alone at some point of our lives!

One piece of advice though: do not make single-hood the motto of your life. Keep a partner or lover as close to your heart as possible, if not close to your house. So, when the right time comes, you can be together and make life more meaningful, joyful and live with one another in LOVE.

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Parenting : A-Z

People say that being a parent is easy,but parenting is difficult. We receive no formal training, nor are we provided with a clear set of guidlines about the right way of parenting. But once a parent. we are constantly scrutinised and criticised on how we proceed with the job. Most of us muddle along on our own way. Usually one tries to be just like ones parents or does the exact opposite things, depending on the one’s experiences while growing up.

being effective parents requires a lot of dedication and patience along wigh love, care and attention. It may be time consuming but brings very rewarding fruits in the long run. Our kids today are the future generation of tomorrow and they will prosper when devotion and effort is put into bringing them up. Parenting is tough. It is one of the most important responsibilities you will have in your life. Wigh all the complications and distractions of the modern world one has to stay connected with the kids no matterwhat their age is. When a two way communication is established and maintained, there develops and effetive parenting process as well as a set of successful parents.

But what are the thumb rules of being good parents ? Back when our parents were born, parenting techniques and skills were learnt from the extended family. the elders, like grandparents, uncles, aunts, in-laws and others were there to guide and impart wisdom to the younger generation on the likes of pregnancy, childbirth and raising children. Today jnuclear families are prevalent in our society, with nobody to provide suggestions and advice to couple.

Remember what Gandhi said, ‘If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.’ children bring us much joy and contentment. Taking the time to plan ahead can lessen the stress and worry we experience while rasing them.

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Of Mother Gosse and Father Chicken :

This is the house that Khala built.
This is the Mama.
Who sowed the seeds of payola in the house that
Khala built.


This is the Bhagna,
Who harvested with th eMama,
Who showed the seeds of payola in the house that
Khala Built.


This is Shashuri,
Who maimed the Bhagna,
Who harvested with the Mama,
Who sowed the seeds of payola in the house that
Khala Built.


This is Judas Chacha,
Who riled the Shashuri,
Who maimed the Bhagna,
Who harvested with the Mama,
Who sowed the seeds of payola in the house that
Khala Built.


This is the General with crumpled gun,
Who jailed Judas chacha,
Who riled the Shashuri,
Who maimed the Bhagna,
Who harvested with the Mama,
Who sowed the seeds of payola in the house that
Khala Built.


This is the Mangnate making money and fun,
Who shirked the General with crumpled gun,
Who jailed Judas chacha,
Who riled the Shasshuri,
Who maimed the Bhagna,
who harvested with the Mama,
Who sowed the seeds of payola in the huse that
Khala built.


This is the Cow standing in the sun,
That maddened the Magnate making money and fun,
Who shirked the General with crumpled gun,
Who jailed Judas Chacha,
Who riled the Shashuri,
Who maimed the Bhagna,
Who harvested with the Mama,
Who sowed the seeds of payola in the house that
Khala built.


This is the Chicken all flu-ed and shorn,
That felled the Cow standing in the sun,
That maddened the Magnate making money and fun,
Who jailed Judas chacha,
Who riled the shashuri,
Who maimed the Bhagna,
Who harvested with the Mama,
who sowed the seeds of payola in the house that
Khala built.


This is the plane that’s refused to be flown,
That derailed the Train that burned in the morn,
That roasted the Chicken all flu-ed and shorn
That felled the Cow stading in the sun,
That maddened the Magnate making money and fun,
who shirked the General with crumpled gun,
Who jailed Judas Chacha,
Who rild the Shashuri,
Who maimed the Bhagna,
Who harvested with the Mama,
who sowed the seeds of payola in the house that
Khala built.


This is the port of cyclically changing renown
That housed the plance that’s refused to be flown,
That derailed the Train that burned in the morn,
That roasted the Chicken all flu-ed and shorn
That felled the Cow stading in the sun,
That maddened the Magnate making money and fun,
who shirked the General with crumpled gun,
Who jailed Judas Chacha,
Who rild the Shashuri,
Who maimed the Bhagna,
Who harvested with the Mama,
who sowed the seeds of payola in the house that
Khala built.

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